Traveler: Chapter 1 Rain beat against the window of the print shop. The dull sound of it rattled in Gita’s head in percussion with the throbbing headache that was now in residence. She had ten minutes left in her shift before she could clock out. There were no customers in sight and she couldn't blame them a bit for not being out in the weather.
It's interesting and well written so far . Gita seems like a pleasant character, and some of the scenes you've described in this chapter (particularly the description of the vision and, later, the map) were quite vivid.
However, it might be a bit more effective if some of the descriptions were simplified. I think you might have used a bit too many adjectives and adverbs in some portions and maybe some of them could be cut. I also found the second sentence a little distracting. The phrases 'in percussion' and 'in residence' don't seem to fit the words they're describing.
Despite this, I still really liked it. I hope you finish this story!