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It's interesting and well written so far :D. Gita seems like a pleasant character, and some of the scenes you've described in this chapter (particularly the description of the vision and, later, the map) were quite vivid.

However, it might be a bit more effective if some of the descriptions were simplified. I think you might have used a bit too many adjectives and adverbs in some portions and maybe some of them could be cut. I also found the second sentence a little distracting. The phrases 'in percussion' and 'in residence' don't seem to fit the words they're describing.

Despite this, I still really liked it. I hope you finish this story! :)
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LeeAnneKortus Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much, Hunny!! :hug:

I will try and re-work some of those descriptions, or balance them out a bit.
I really appreciate your input!!
I'll be uploading more chapters either tonight or tomorrow. I have 5 completed and I'm working on chapter 6. I will finish this book! :-) :heart:
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